You Are Allowed to Take Care of Yourself Too

3 days ago

5 min read

Why taking care of yourself isn't selfish, especially for women over 40

For a long time, I think many women are taught, sometimes without anyone actually saying it out loud, that taking care of everyone else is what makes us a good wife, mom, daughter, friend, employee, or just a good woman.

We make sure everyone else has what they need.

We work.

We take care of the house.

We take care of our families.

We show up for our jobs.

We help other people.

And somewhere along the way, we can quietly put ourselves at the very bottom of the list.

I'll be honest, I have done this too.

And lately, I have been learning something that I think God has been trying to remind me of:

I am allowed to take care of myself too.

And so are you.

Self-care isn't selfish

When you hear the words "self-care," what comes to mind?

Maybe you picture a spa day, getting your nails done, going shopping, or taking a luxurious vacation.

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with those things.

But I think real self-care is much simpler than that.

Sometimes self-care looks like going to bed instead of staying up late trying to finish one more thing.

Sometimes it looks like eating a nourishing meal instead of grabbing whatever is easiest because you're too busy to think about yourself.

Sometimes it's taking a walk.

Getting your workout in.

Drinking your water.

Sitting quietly with your coffee.

Saying no when your schedule is already full.

Asking someone for help.

Or simply giving yourself permission to rest.

Those things may not seem exciting, but they matter.

I was reminded of this on my birthday weekend

My birthday weekend didn't go exactly the way I had originally imagined it.

But it turned out to be a really good reminder that life doesn't always have to be packed full to be meaningful.

By Sunday, I was tired.

So instead of feeling like I needed to keep going, I stayed home.

I ordered my groceries.

I took a short nap.

I slowed down.

And I let myself rest.

There was no guilt attached to it.

I didn't have to earn the rest.

I didn't have to accomplish something first.

My body was telling me it needed a slower day, and I listened.

That may sound like a very small thing, but sometimes those small choices are where we start learning how to take better care of ourselves.

There is a difference between self-care and self-neglect

I think this is an important distinction.

Taking care of yourself doesn't mean you stop caring about everyone else.

It doesn't mean you become selfish.

It doesn't mean you avoid responsibilities or put yourself above the people you love.

And it doesn't mean you have to spend a bunch of money on yourself.

Self-care is often simply recognizing that you are a person who has needs too.

You need sleep.

You need nourishment.

You need movement.

You need rest.

You need connection.

You need time to breathe.

And, for me, I need time with God.

Those aren't signs that you're weak or selfish.

They're part of taking care of the body, mind, and spirit God has entrusted to you.

You don't have to wait until you're exhausted

This is something I especially want women over 40 to hear.

You don't have to wait until you're completely burned out before you decide that your health matters.

You don't have to wait until your clothes don't fit.

You don't have to wait until you're exhausted every day.

You don't have to wait until your doctor tells you that you need to make changes.

You don't have to wait until January 1st.

And you don't have to wait until everyone else is taken care of.

You are allowed to take care of yourself now.

Start small.

Take a walk.

Do a strength workout.

Drink some water.

Eat a meal that actually nourishes you.

Go to bed a little earlier.

Put your phone down.

Spend a few quiet minutes with God.

Take a day to slow down when you genuinely need it.

You don't have to change your entire life overnight.

Sometimes taking care of yourself starts with one small decision that says:

"I matter too."

Taking care of yourself can help you keep showing up

One thing I've realized is that taking care of myself isn't about taking something away from the people I love.

It's actually about helping me continue to show up for them.

When I take care of my health, I have more to give.

When I make time for movement, I'm investing in my strength.

When I prioritize nourishing food, I'm supporting my body.

When I get enough rest, I can function better.

When I spend time with God, I can slow down and remember what really matters.

I don't want to spend my life constantly pouring from an empty cup.

I want to be healthy enough, strong enough, and present enough to enjoy the life God has given me.

And I want that for you too.

You don't have to put yourself last

Maybe you've spent years putting everyone else first.

Maybe you're a mom who has spent decades taking care of your family.

Maybe you're caring for aging parents.

Maybe you're working full-time while trying to keep up with everything at home.

Maybe you've built a career, raised children, supported a spouse, helped friends, and somehow convinced yourself that you'll take care of you later.

But what if later doesn't have to be the plan?

What if you can begin taking care of yourself now?

Not perfectly.

Not dramatically.

Not by completely changing your life.

Just by starting to recognize that your health matters too.

Because you matter too.

Take care of the woman God created you to be

I believe God has given each of us a life that is meant to be lived—not simply survived.

That doesn't mean life will always be easy.

It doesn't mean we'll never be tired or overwhelmed.

But it does mean we can learn to care for ourselves along the way.

We can move our bodies.

We can nourish ourselves.

We can rest.

We can set healthy boundaries.

We can ask for help.

We can spend time with God.

And we can stop believing that taking care of ourselves makes us selfish.

You don't need to become someone else.

You don't need another extreme diet, another complicated workout plan, or another promise that "this time will be different."

You may simply need to start caring for the woman God already created you to be.

And that starts with remembering something very important: